Big Bad Debate
by thechosenstarfish
Summary: Season 7 - our group of extended Scoobies have a heated debate about villians.


Season: In the middle of Season 7, towards the end.

Diclaimer: All belongs to Joss and Mutant Enemy lovelies... I just like to play.

"I can't believe you would even say something like that!"

"Well it's the truth, I am sorry if your feeble brain can't handle the obvious answer."

"Feeble! What you are saying is an impossibility! It would never happen that way."

"Just accept it. Dark Willow, you, would have fried Vampire Willow, also, disturbingly you, before she could have even licked that veiny pale neck."

"Anya! That is just one of the most disturbing things you could ever say."

"Well, she is right. If you took into the account that Vampire Willow, while strong with the crazy kung fu undead thing, would not be quick enough for the purply black lightning of Dark Willow," Andrew took a deep breath before continuing, "It would have to take that hella beauty, Glory, or maybe Wolverine you know all pulsating and hairy and snickety snick with those hot adamantium claws—"

Willow stopped him before he could go off on what Dawn liked to call a "dorkgasm". "Andrew, can we please stop having this disturbing conversation about my evil selves, and I swear if you ever use that Vader reference again, I will go dark Jedi on your ass."

"You knew we would get to you, eventually. In the category of the Big Bad, you are there Willow. I am just not sure where you stand yet in the rankings. We decided that in the Sunnydale Big Bad Ultimate Death Match that the Mayor would have been kibbles and bits to everyone in his non-snakey form. Glory and Adam were the two undecided, and the Master would have fought well, but gotten tossed around by a rag doll by Glory, until, as Xander pointed out, Adam would have put a missile down the punch mouth throat." Andrew sat back, looking quite pleased with himself. Dawn gave him a secret nod of approval, before looking reproachfully at him to support Willow. The red head was sitting there not wanting any part of the who would kill who debate, but secretly, deep down inside her locked dark magicks box, she wanted to know how her counterpart would fare.

"I still think distracting Glory with something shiny or Prada would have been something Angelus might have pulled off, before getting his head torn off." Xander looked pleased with the thought of a dusty Angelus, as did Spike sitting in the corner of the Summer's living room, rolling a cigarette between his fingers. He was trying not to listen, but could not help but play these battles in his mind.

"Oh, Angelus, I forgot about him!" Anya exclaimed. "Dark and destructive, but still just a mere vampire. Yeah, he would have been dusted by Adam. Nothing but dirt between the feet."

"Bloody dust in the wind!" Spike had all five heads turn towards him. Amused, he said, "You knew I was here. And you also left me off the big bad list! Back there a few years ago I was reeking havoc upon your precious high school. I had you quaking in your knickers."

"Spike, clearly Angelus would have bettered you in battle. I mean"

"Anya!" Dawn placed a quick hand on the demon's knee to settle her. "You know, Spike was a big bad and all."

"Well clearly, someone has power issues," Spike said, still rounding on Anya. "You can't fight your way out of a Starbucks unless someone wished it so."

"My power is not up for discussion here! Clearly I was never a Big BIG Bad! Xander, tell him…"

Xander saw the out, "Well then, if you had to pair a Sunnydale evil against a Marvel comic hero…"

"I always liked Rogue," Dawn said. "Maybe she could have bested that psychic mouthless demon duo that Buffy fought. And she could have absorbed the powers and dissolved them."

"Dawn?" Willow looked at her quizzically, one red eyebrow arched.

"What? You learn things from hanging out with him! It's like geek transference or something!" Dawn pointed at Andrew, who was in deep though, strategies and powers pitted on an internal easel of battle.

"Oh, I am so glad you picked Marvel, frankly I can quite tired of the DC Superman/Batman monopoly on things." Andrew started off on this, and the rest of the group squabbled over powers and strength. It was a moment to ignore the evil lingering in the air, rooting itself in everything Sunnydale was.


End file.
